Ps 42

As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
While they continually say to me,
“Where is your God?”

When I remember these things,
I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go with the multitude;
I went with them to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and praise,
With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.

Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance.

O my God, my soul is cast down within me;
Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan,
And from the heights of Hermon,
From the Hill Mizar.
Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me.
The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
And in the night His song shall be with me—
A prayer to the God of my life.

I will say to God my Rock,
“Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
As with a breaking of my bones,
My enemies reproach me,
While they say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”

Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.


This Psalm has been the cry of my heart over the past few months "Why are you downcast O my soul? An why are you disquieted within me?!" Why do we go through times of spiritual struggle where God feels far away? I know the he has promises to never leave us or forsake those who are his children, and he also promises to never give us more than we can bear, but I have had to constantly remind myself of those things. My walk with God has been a struggle at best for the past few months and I have found myself jealous of those who seem to love Jesus with a passion that overcomes their life. I want my soul to pant for the Lord as much as I want water after I run...even more! But more often I coast through life unsatisfied and not knowing what to do about that.

This seems like a very depressing first post...hopefully they will get better from here! On the other hand I have this horrible habit of holding all of these thoughts inside when I really should tell them to others, so that is what I am doing. Even if only one person ever reads this it is one step closer to opening up about myself and the struggles and joys that I have.